Having a moment...

I can't stop crying...
I honestly don't know what my problem is! I'm not pregnant, no postpartum depression?
I'm just sad. And all I wanna do is cry! and maybe vent....
No body reads this thing anyway right so I just have to get all of my thoughts out and quit holding them in! I'm done crying.

Rylee is almost 3 months old!! Can't believe how fast that went... she is getting so big. I keep thinking to myself "gosh, life is crazy... it will never be the same" (and I am soo grateful, really!) But what a huge event that is for us women... HUGE. It's not like getting a new apartment or a new job, it's creating a whole new human being. Something soo pure and so close to heaven..Such an amazing thing. I still think us women should get an award, but whatever ;) My point is... I had a baby!!!! I am a mom now... i'm no longer Nikki or Nikki and Gentry.. I'm a family! Something I thought was a pretty big deal doesn't seem to be to the people I think should care most.. People that I thought were my so called "friends"... I have friends.. lots of them. Maybe just not as many as I thought I guess.

It doesn't matter anymore... I'm over it. I just had to get that off my shoulders. I'm so grateful for all that I have.. I have such a beautiful daughter and I am so proud to call myself her mom. She is always smiling and making everything better. I have a husband that would do ANYTHING for me. He works soo hard for us, and I love him very much. I have a family that means the world to me, they are the reason I am the woman I am today.. and I have some pretty amazing friends, I'm grateful for them and all of their love and support.

We love her...

SOO much!

She is absolutely my everything...

Now that I have gone back to work (only part time) I take every moment I have with her and run.. haha I never want to set her down or let her cry.. It's terrible! I guess that's what you do when you are a new mom. I can't help it. I am obsessed with this girl. When she is awake which is a lot more now days, all I want to do is play with  her.. we read lots of books and sing songs, and just tell eachother stories. She is such a hoot! She is always smiling and talking.. I know she has soo much she wants to say, and tries so hard to say them. I am so excited for the day when she'll actually tell me real stories... But I know those days will come real fast so for now I'll wait :) and enjoy all of these sweet sweet moments we have together while she's still so little. Time is going by way WAY too fast, and I want it to stop. :( My little 5 lb baby is getting so big...

Rylee is 10 weeks now.. 2 1/2 months!

She now weighs 9 lbs and 10 oz and 22 1/2 inches long.

Smiles all day long..

Started wearing size 1 diapers and is now out of newborn clothes!

LOVES her daddy
Goes to bed at 10:30 and usually up by 7

Drinks 4oz every 3 hours.. Mom is pumping and feeding, loves to nurse still so we do that occationally when we're feeling sad, but will take a bottle great.

Loves that binky :)

Gives some pretty dirty looks.. haha we just laugh because we know where she got them.. her DAD!

Spits bubbles all the time.. don't know why.

Still has lots of hair.. and it's getting longer

Likes to listen to music especially hawaiian music

Papi watches you every day while mom goes to work, he is so sad every time dad comes to pick you up haha

Takes a bath every night, and thoroughly enjoys it.. so does mom :)

LOVES the water and going swimming with her mom and dad

Always moving around, never holding still. Makes your mom and dad a little nervous. You're going to be a handful we just know it :)

But then there are moments like these....

My friend Lindsey took these darling pictures of Rylee when she was about a month old... Rylee would not just close her eyes and be peaceful like newborn babies usually do for their newborn pictures.. but she got a few very cute ones :) thanks Linds!

Oh how I love that little bum soo stinkin' much!

 

Every day I thank our Father in heaven for letting me be your mom. I never knew that in just 2 months you could already teach us so much... But you have. We have never been happier!! Thank you for letting us kiss you none stop and stare at you all day long... we are so LUCKY to have you as our daughter.

Rylee Allison Bean is here...

( I'm kind of slow with this post... Better late then never right)

Rylee arrived June 10th, 2011 at 12:51 PM

5 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches long

Gentry was immediately in love with her :)

She's perfect

He's so proud

The cute new daddy's and their daughters... Rylee's best friend Bentley was born a week ealier.

The best dad Rylee could ask for :)

She hates her car seat haha

Rylee, before you came into our lives there was a part of both of us that was missing... never knew how much we needed you until you were here, and now that you're here I don't know what we would do without you. You are so special to us, and we love you so much!

Our little Bean family :)

Happy Birthday...

DADDY-O

Today is my dad's 61st Birthday... We were suppose to have a big family dinner with him, but he has been really sick all weekend with a bad sore throat, and didn't want any of his grandkids to get sick. SO he spent the day in bed :( while my mom took care of him... We were told not to visit, but I couldn't just NOT go say hello, so Gentry and I went over there but he wouldn't even let me get close to him. He's so stubborn ;)

It kind of broke my heart to see him so sick... But I'm sure it's just something that's goin around..

My dad is so incredible.

He truly is the most selfless person I have and will ever meet. He's always thinking of everyone else before himself... He has the biggest heart of gold, and cares so much for his family, and for EVERYone around him.
I remember when I was little.. I use to take the bus every day to school. Our neighborhood bus stop was just down the street, but I INSISTED that he had to drop me off on his way to work every morning! Since my mom left for work so early most mornings, he would have to make sure I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and ate my breakfast.... which I never wanted to do. SO being the tricky one that I am, I would pick a fight with my dad at least once a week, and insist that I was not going to eat my toast. JUST because I knew that my dad, being the softy that he was would then say... "Ok ok.. Mcdonalds or Burger King?" :) He SPOILED me... :/ We continued our McDonalds/Burger King runs even through my High School days, and even again while we worked together at Rastar.. Oh what I would give to go back to those times together. 

 I have THEE best dad ever...

Happy Birthday Daddy-o :) I sure love you lots and LOTS

One year ago...

I was sealed for time and eternity to my very BEST friend...

It seems like just last week we were getting engaged and making all the plans. All weekend long I just kept asking Gent, "Has it really been a YEAR?! Can you believe it!" I feel like we just got home from our honeymoon... But oh how glad I am that we didn't. Haha I feel like we have learned SO much about eachother in this last year, some of those things I would never want to go back to the beginning and have to learn again ;) But I am so grateful for all that we have learned, and continue to learn about marriage... What an incredible, challenging, rewarding, fun, HARD experience it is... I wouldn't change it for anything!
I can't believe what a lucky girl I am... Gentry is the most amazing person I have ever met. He truly is a gentleman. Always asking what he can do for me and how he can help, even if he has just come home from a very long hard day at work, he helps with dinner, does a load of laundry, vacuums, helps with dishes.. the list goes on.

I kept hoping we would go away for the weekend, go somewhere warm or just go stay in a hotel somewhere, BUT with a baby on the way, and because my darling husband is soo good with money, we decided to just stay here in American Fork. But it was such a nice weekend. We went to the Temple, went to dinner, went shopping, and saw a few movies... It was perfect. Gentry even spoiled me with a big bouquet of beautiful flowers.. it was very thoughtful.



Oh and that silly tradition of saving your wedding cake and then eating it on your one year anniversary..... I would like to know who thought of that tradition?? Gentry wouldn't even touch our cake haha Sooo I pretty much ate the whole top layer by myself.. Mmmm yep, and it wasn't too bad :) My grandma Joan wrapped it up quite nicely for us, and then stored it in her fridge for us for the year... Thanks grandma Joan :)



We also opened up a little package that my amazing mother-in-law put together for us of all the advice that guests at our wedding luncheon had said to us.. The very first one we read was from my very thoughtful cousin, Sharli... It reads "Use protection......" DANGIT.. We could of used that piece of advice 7 months ago..... ;) Oh well!! I'm so glad that that protection didn't work, and we have the opportunity of preparing ourselves for parenthood.. Even though it wasn't apart of our plan... this soon anyway, it was definitely apart of Heavenly Fathers plan for us.. and oh how grateful I am for that! It is so fun to be able to feel her kick me all day long, and even funner to see Gentry's face when he gets to feel her too. It's so crazy to think about another human being inside of me... My body is making another person! haha It amazes me. I love it! Ok... I'm trailing off. I had no idea I had so much to say ;) Anyways...

Happy Anniversary, Gent! I love you soo SO much.

It is official...

We are going to be bloggers!!
Or at least I will be... Gentry totally disagrees, but who cares what those husbands think, right? Right! ;)

I am so excited :) I just hope I can find the time to keep everyone updated on us, and everything that is happening.... Not like we have SO much going on haha But I can just see myself not being very good at this. I might need a few tutorials on how to make my page cute, or even how to upload pictures, we'll see. Maybe I won't. But if you have any suggestions for me, please PLEASE feel free to help :) Thanks guys!