Having a moment...

I can't stop crying...
I honestly don't know what my problem is! I'm not pregnant, no postpartum depression?
I'm just sad. And all I wanna do is cry! and maybe vent....
No body reads this thing anyway right so I just have to get all of my thoughts out and quit holding them in! I'm done crying.

Rylee is almost 3 months old!! Can't believe how fast that went... she is getting so big. I keep thinking to myself "gosh, life is crazy... it will never be the same" (and I am soo grateful, really!) But what a huge event that is for us women... HUGE. It's not like getting a new apartment or a new job, it's creating a whole new human being. Something soo pure and so close to heaven..Such an amazing thing. I still think us women should get an award, but whatever ;) My point is... I had a baby!!!! I am a mom now... i'm no longer Nikki or Nikki and Gentry.. I'm a family! Something I thought was a pretty big deal doesn't seem to be to the people I think should care most.. People that I thought were my so called "friends"... I have friends.. lots of them. Maybe just not as many as I thought I guess.

It doesn't matter anymore... I'm over it. I just had to get that off my shoulders. I'm so grateful for all that I have.. I have such a beautiful daughter and I am so proud to call myself her mom. She is always smiling and making everything better. I have a husband that would do ANYTHING for me. He works soo hard for us, and I love him very much. I have a family that means the world to me, they are the reason I am the woman I am today.. and I have some pretty amazing friends, I'm grateful for them and all of their love and support.

We love her...

SOO much!

She is absolutely my everything...

Now that I have gone back to work (only part time) I take every moment I have with her and run.. haha I never want to set her down or let her cry.. It's terrible! I guess that's what you do when you are a new mom. I can't help it. I am obsessed with this girl. When she is awake which is a lot more now days, all I want to do is play with  her.. we read lots of books and sing songs, and just tell eachother stories. She is such a hoot! She is always smiling and talking.. I know she has soo much she wants to say, and tries so hard to say them. I am so excited for the day when she'll actually tell me real stories... But I know those days will come real fast so for now I'll wait :) and enjoy all of these sweet sweet moments we have together while she's still so little. Time is going by way WAY too fast, and I want it to stop. :( My little 5 lb baby is getting so big...

Rylee is 10 weeks now.. 2 1/2 months!

She now weighs 9 lbs and 10 oz and 22 1/2 inches long.

Smiles all day long..

Started wearing size 1 diapers and is now out of newborn clothes!

LOVES her daddy
Goes to bed at 10:30 and usually up by 7

Drinks 4oz every 3 hours.. Mom is pumping and feeding, loves to nurse still so we do that occationally when we're feeling sad, but will take a bottle great.

Loves that binky :)

Gives some pretty dirty looks.. haha we just laugh because we know where she got them.. her DAD!

Spits bubbles all the time.. don't know why.

Still has lots of hair.. and it's getting longer

Likes to listen to music especially hawaiian music

Papi watches you every day while mom goes to work, he is so sad every time dad comes to pick you up haha

Takes a bath every night, and thoroughly enjoys it.. so does mom :)

LOVES the water and going swimming with her mom and dad

Always moving around, never holding still. Makes your mom and dad a little nervous. You're going to be a handful we just know it :)

But then there are moments like these....

My friend Lindsey took these darling pictures of Rylee when she was about a month old... Rylee would not just close her eyes and be peaceful like newborn babies usually do for their newborn pictures.. but she got a few very cute ones :) thanks Linds!

Oh how I love that little bum soo stinkin' much!

 

Every day I thank our Father in heaven for letting me be your mom. I never knew that in just 2 months you could already teach us so much... But you have. We have never been happier!! Thank you for letting us kiss you none stop and stare at you all day long... we are so LUCKY to have you as our daughter.

Rylee Allison Bean is here...

( I'm kind of slow with this post... Better late then never right)

Rylee arrived June 10th, 2011 at 12:51 PM

5 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches long

Gentry was immediately in love with her :)

She's perfect

He's so proud

The cute new daddy's and their daughters... Rylee's best friend Bentley was born a week ealier.

The best dad Rylee could ask for :)

She hates her car seat haha

Rylee, before you came into our lives there was a part of both of us that was missing... never knew how much we needed you until you were here, and now that you're here I don't know what we would do without you. You are so special to us, and we love you so much!

Our little Bean family :)